When you think of OCD, what do you think of?

Most people would normally think of someone who is particularly clean, fastidious and often complaining about coasters and watermarks. I often used to say I have OCD about the car radio volume being on an even number. Little things that people don’t like or are precious about is not in fact OCD.

A very big part of OCD is intrusive thoughts. We all have them, it is a curiosity fantasy designed to engage the brain and think about things and focus the safety mechanism, a thought that drifts away from the ordinary and then a realisation that it shouldn’t, couldn’t or wouldn’t happen and is then dismissed and gone from the brain. Imagine your stood on the edge of a high cliff looking out and down, you suddenly think “I wonder what would happen if I jumped off…” a brief moment of thought then your brain says “don’t do that, it’s silly, it would hurt and you would break your bones” and the thought is dismissed and gone.

Some people’s social media content is built around exposing themselves or people who let intrusive thoughts win, not in a dangerous way, in a manner that breeches our concept of inhibited behaviour. How often has your significant other asked “do I look good in this” and for the sake of relationships and love you say “you look great dear” when in reality, the colour is horrible, its too loud or the pattern is too bright, it’s the wrong fit or there is too much of something exposed. Letting your intrusive thoughts win would be responding with “actually I think your too fat to pull that off!”. Western society and culture aren’t geared that way, we don’t like to upset others, so we have manners and language that would help say the same thing in a more polite and appropriate way, a way to dismiss the thoughts and come up with other solutions.

People with OCD struggle to contain or dismiss their intrusive thoughts and it becomes hyper focused, their brain lacks the capacity to tell them “That won’t happen” and they fear it will, often in violent ways or thoughts that harm will come to themselves or, even worse, people they love.

OCD is “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder” and each of those three elements play a big part in the problem.

So, what is OCD?

Let’s actually start at the end and talk about the word “disorder”. Most people see the word and think of it being a problem or a difference. In dictionary terms it means ‘a state of confusion’ and in part it can be that, more often than not for the people around that person rather than the person themselves. Personally, I disagree with the word and its connotations, however, in reality and dictionary definition, it is a state of confusion, whereby the brain doesn’t act in a way that you, the sufferer, or the people around you, expect it to work, ergo, confusion.

Obsessive means to think about something or someone all of the time. As we already looked at, someone with OCD struggles with that defeat of an intrusive thought, and they start obsessing over it, thinking about it time and time again, and its not nice thoughts either, its intrusive thoughts of harm or illness befalling themselves or others. Its all they can think about, it’s all their brain can focus on, and it is consistent. They obsess over things, anything, from big to small and to others it can be things they have done many thousands of times before. To others it could seem silly or irrelevant, but to them, it is their “Obsession”. It may not always be the same thing either, something new could be introduced to a situation and their obsession could start or be refocussed. Some people compile lists, and the lists remain extant indefinitely until their life is consumed by obsessions they keep adding to the list, others can change the obsession and something that was an obsession yesterday, wont necessarily be an obsession today.

Compulsive or “Compulsion” is the part of the disorder that manifests itself the most visually and is often what is seen by others. Compulsive means in simple terms, an irresistible urge to do certain things. In the mind of someone with OCD, they have the “Obsessive” or “Intrusive thought” and the only way that it can be dealt with there and then is to perform some sort of compulsion. It is different for everyone and for each obsession. If you have ever watched the television series The Big Bang theory, one of the main characters Sheldon Cooper demonstrates a classic OCD trait when he knocks on someone’s door. He must knock three times and then call the persons name, and this must be performed three times: “knock, knock, knock Penny. Knock, knock, knock Penny. Knock, knock, knock Penny.” There are many instances in the show that when this compulsion isn’t completed to conclusion, it has a negative effect on Sheldon. Some people must touch things a certain number of times, some people have to state certain words, and some people have to perform certain tasks or rituals.

If you speak to someone with OCD, they will often tell you, they know it is illogical, they know it is ridiculous to think like that, but they cannot control it if they do not perform the compulsion. It can be all consuming.

How do you live with OCD?

Well, there is two sides to this question, “How do you live as someone with OCD?” and “How do you live with someone with OCD?”

Having OCD can be all consuming, it can take over every element of your life and can affect both home and work life. For some it isn’t so severe and doesn’t have as deep an impact. However, for the person suffering from it, it can feel like their whole world is consumed and there is no way out. There are two styles of treatment, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) or medication, normally antidepressants known as Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). CBT is described as a “type of talking therapy” which helps people face their fears and thoughts without compulsions. It can be used dependant on the level of OCD in the person and can be seen to have quicker affect to help manage their compulsions. Dependant on the type and thoughts of the person with OCD, most medical practices can offer this in three ways, on the phone, via a video call or in person. This can also include group sessions, either on an outpatient programme, one day at a time in attendance with others by the Patients choice, or in a day programme at a mental health treatment centre. Medication can be affective; however, it is important to note that most medications take a while to have any discernible effect. Treatment is at the discussion and suitability of the patient and can either be singular or in combination.

“How do you live with someone with OCD?” – Patience, acceptance and understanding! Don’t argue, but at the same time, don’t do or allow anything that could be harmful to yourself or others. You will see them do things that don’t make sense, don’t laugh or criticise, just ask if they are aware of what they are doing and ask if they need any help. It can be hard seeing your loved ones suffer or act in a way that is alien to you or their normal behaviour, but it is important not to inflame or exacerbate the feelings they are already having, don’t forget, in their head, they are already going through the tumbler of thoughts along the lines of “this isn’t practical, but it must be done, but it isn’t practical, but it must be done”. Give them support and flexibility, try to plan things in detail so it gives them something to focus on and work towards.

There are probably a thousand things you could do to support someone with OCD, and there isn’t scope to list them all, most important thing you have to remember is they are struggling, and they need support, not anger, frustration or arguments. But you also need time yourself. Take time out to focus on yourself, have a break and a refresh, making sure provisions are in place for the person with OCD.

Every person in this world is different and every relationship between people is different. All it takes is understanding and acceptance to support and guide those who suffer with the openness to talk about how things can be put in place to support each other.

Getting help

If you or anyone you know suffers from OCD, or is a carer or supporter of someone with OCD, the following organisations are available:

United Kingdom

OCD UK

OCD Action

Mind

Australia

SANE Australia

Mental Health Foundation Australia

Headstart

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